The waiting is hard...

We are waiting and waiting and waiting...

So many people have asked recently "when do you get to go get Zaine" 

so I figured I should explain a bit about where we are in the process...

We received our I600 approval - this states that we have 

"provisional approval" from the USA to adopt Zaine.

They must complete their investigation of his story and paperwork before 

they will send our approval to the VISA office so they can issue his visa.

He needs a VISA to exit the country, so we kinda half to wait on that important piece.

I wrote a post a few months ago about the investigation...

The investigation is great overall - this will ensure higher quality of adoptions from the DRC and keep ethics at the forefront of each adoption.  That's all wonderful and we applaud the investigations but it's caused a slow down and backup with the adoptions in the DRC.  Thus, we wait...

Some days I wait well and other days I simply don't.

My baby boy is half a world away and I ache so bad to hold him.

We were blessed to have 2 biological children and that 9 months 

seemed like eternity until I got to hold my precious babies

but...

 I didn't get to see glimpses of their personalities along the way, 

hear from other families who got to hold my baby and take pictures of him, 

see another momma so graciously raising my child,

wonder what he was eating and how he was sleeping,

etc etc etc.

That's what makes this journey so difficult. 

Some days I remember so well that Zaine is in God's hands 

and He's looking after him right now while I can't.  

God knows what Zaine ate for each meal today, 

how many hairs are on his head,

what he thinks about when he sees our pictures,

how he slept last night,

if he's sick or not, 

and yes, the list could go on and on.

God's got it - He knows and He cares.

Other days I tend to get in a funk and focus on what I'm missing with Zaine and my worries.

I worry about his health and nutrition and growth.

I worry about whether he is rocked to sleep when he's sad,

patted when he's crying,

and whether he smiles when he's happy.

It breaks this momma's heart to hear my almost 5 year old daughter, Addison, 

pray for us to be able to get him home by her birthday because that's her birthday wish.

A little tear always escapes when she daily talks about how she's going to play with both her brothers.

Sometimes she's scheming ways to keep her brothers out of her Polly Pockets and My Little Ponies and other times she's planning what she'll play with them at the park, in the pool, in the backyard, and in the playroom.

Her dreaming is good for my heart - it makes it seem real.  

Zaine is coming home...

but right now - we pray, dream and wait.

I stare at Zaine's pictures all the time and pray for my little boy.

This adoption has strengthened my prayer life like no other!

This is hard - I'm not gonna lie!  

I'm not a crier generally but most days right now the words 

"bring him home" send me into a puddle of tears.

A verse that hit me a few days ago in my reading is Psalm 94:19

"In the multitude of my anxious thoughts within me, Your comforts cheer and delight my soul!"

Let's just presume that I might have a little anxiousness in my heart some days...  

I will continue to cling to God's comforts and let Him cheer and delight my soul.

He's good... ALL THE TIME (even when it's not my timing)!