a little complaining...

So...  

I have been in a funk this week.

I shouldn't be.  

We filed our I600 last week. YAY!

We actually even received our Act of Adoption this week - yes, very fast!

I should be so excited about how quickly things have been moving.

We have an INCREDIBLE attorney!

We are using an unbelievably awesome facilitator/agency!

Everything has been, honestly... perfect thus far.

But - now we wait on the good ol' USA.  

Don't get me wrong...  I love our country and feel very blessed

 to live here but right now, I'm frustrated.   

Our lawyer has worked herself silly in the DRC getting all of our 

paperwork with the required crazy number of signatures, 

getting everything to court, etc etc etc. 

She has accomplished so much in the past 2 months.

So now we wait for our I600 approval which typically takes 3-5 weeks. 

Then we begin the long wait of 3-6 months for the embassy to do their investigation.

I've had several pity parties this week when looking at the calendar.

If things hadn't changed with the investigations, 

we would be in the DRC right now filing our I600 and then returning 

in 3-5 weeks to bring Zaine home.  

Instead, we will begin our 3-6 month wait when we should be bringing him home.

This is HARD!!!! 

We knew the adoption journey wouldn't be easy.  

We knew it would be stretching.  

We knew we would grow and learn to rely on God in a whole new way.  

We knew our hearts would yearn for our child...

We didn't know how much though. 

I would do just about anything to have Zaine in our arms right now.

Every day I think about the things we're missing with him.  

It's crazy how much I already love that kid!

I had TERRIBLE pregnancies with both Addison and Xavier - hyperemesis at its finest.

Puked 15-20+ times a day for 9 months, hospitalized a crazy number of times for each pregnancy, had more ivs in my arms/hands than I could count, did at home ivs, and just kept puking until they were born... and then I was perfectly fine.  

I honestly hated being pregnant and I want to hit them square between the eyes smile politely at the lovely ladies who just love being pregnant.

Don't get me wrong, I feel very blessed to have been able to have 2 biological children.  

I was able to experience that and I'm thankful (now that I know I won't be pregnant again).  

I feel like I'm pregnant again - no, my head isn't hanging over toilets and buckets 

but I find myself living for the end.  

I'm trying my darnedest to live in the now and enjoy life but there is a little part of my brain and heart that is living for the day when I get to grab Zaine and hold him so tight.  

I thought the other day, "when I finally get to hold him, I may not put him down for daaaays."

It's just been a hard week of celebrating big strides in paperwork but realizing with the new changes that we would have been so close but yet...  we've still got quite a wait in front of us.  

You can be praying that we continue to "wait well."  

Waiting well has been my goal from the beginning of this adoption.  

When we were just beginning our adoption I heard someone tell 

another adoptive momma that "they had waited well in Him".  

I'm not sure I've "waited well" this week...

Glad His mercies are new every morning!

The papers say he is ours!

We received all of Zaine's court documents last week and once 

they were translated I was able to devour every last word of them.

I'm not going to share his story because that is his story to share someday. 

Let's just say there were a few tears shed as I read about his little life thus far.

We're going to work our hardest to verify his story, find more pieces of his story 

and document our visits when we're in the DRC so we can give him as 

much information as possible about his life in Congo.

My heart hurt as I read the paperwork because so much of his little life is left unanswered...

He didn't have a name until the orphanage director gave him one.

He didn't have a birthday until we assigned him a special day.

He doesn't have parents listed on his birth certificate.

The list goes on and on...

Well, Zaine Safari, the list of questions stop now!  

You now have a name that means something quite special.

You now have a birthday that we'll celebrate together and lots of other cool adoption days we'll celebrate each year as we remember bringing you into our family.

You now have a Mommy and Daddy who love you SO much.

You now have a sister and brother who can't wait to meet you and grow up alongside of you.

We won't be able to fill in most of the blanks and answer lots of questions

 about what happened in the first few months of your life.  

We pray that the love you come to know from our family and 

God's love will far outweigh those concerns and questions one day.

As emotional as it was to read through all of the paperwork, 

I chose to focus on a few lines that made my heart smile...  

"...this pronounces the adoption of the child Safari by the petitioners, Mr. Todd Andrew Kocher and Mrs. Kristen Marie Kocher, of American nationality." 

and

"the child Safari will now be called Safari Kocher"

He's ours!!!

 
Through all of the emptiness and loneliness in the paperwork, there is hope.

Just like the emptiness in our lives before Christ gives us a hope of new life with Him.

 

Big Steps

We received all of our court documents (including PV, consent, bc judgment, court judgment, his birth certificate and our CONA docs) in French on Monday.

They were sent to the translator Monday afternoon.

I received the translations back Tuesday around noon.

WOW!!!

That meant I had to kick it in high gear and get everything ready 

and filled out so we could send our I600 to USCIS.   

I made myself focus on getting everything printed, filled out, signed, etc so I could make it to the post office before it closed.  I SO badly wanted to sit and devour every last word on these papers so I could learn more about our son.

I made it to the PO with 20 minutes to spare (after we ran out of printer paper and we had to make a quick trip to Mimi and Pop Pop's house to steal some more paper - yes, that was easier, quicker, more fun than a trip to Walmart).  

Our I600 was overnighted and received the following morning.  

YAY!  

Now we wait some more...

Speaking of waiting - someone posted this quote on our private DRC facebook prayer group...

Joseph waited 13 years.

Abraham waited 25 years.

Moses waited 40 years.

Jesus waited 30 years.

If God is making you wait,

you're in good company.

Waiting is not easy and I'm learning LOTS about reliance on God through this process.  I'm thinking I need to go dig a little deeper into the story of Joseph, Abraham and Moses right now.

 

Gifts and Garage Sale

Exciting News:

We got Zaine's birth certificate today!!!

This is what we needed in order to file our I600. 

All of our Congo court documents have been sent to the translator and

as soon as we get those translations back, we can file our immigration paperwork. 

Fun Gifts:

My husband knew that a small portion (ok, sometimes a large portion of my heart) is in Africa right now so he took that into account when he bought my Christmas gifts this year.

He had these car magnets designed for my car - 

I LOVE them!!!

A sweet friend got me a special necklace for my bday - I haven't taken a picture yet but will have to post one soon.  It's so special - it's an outline of Africa with a heart where the DRC is and Zaine's name engraved on it.  It allows me to have a piece of Zaine with me throughout my days...  Super thoughtful of her!  Thank you Kristin!

Garage Sale:

We're planning to have our second (and final) fundraiser garage sale sometime around the second weekend of April (assuming the weather is good).  If you have any donations for us, please let me know and I'll set up a pick-up time where we'll come get it all from you.  We had an incredibly successful garage sale in the fall ($2,400) and we're hoping for another good event.  Thank you to everyone who has already donated stuff for the sale!  We couldn't do this without all the support!

Disney Vacation and Celebration

Thanks to Disney Visa rewards points and a very generous Aunt and Uncle who live in Orlando, we were able to take an 11 day vacation and spend 4 days at Disney parks with a few beach days and relaxation days thrown in.

I told myself before we left that I was going to set the adoption aside in my brain and wholly focus on our family and the 2 children that were present with me.  I think I did a fairly good job at this but I definitely had moments throughout each day when I was aching for Zaine to be with us.  

I so badly wanted to see him having fun in the stroller with his brother and sister...

 getting excited when he saw Mickey like Xavier was...

running around the water splash pads and squealing with his siblings...

riding rides with big smiles...

being a wild man at the beach with his brother...

the list could go on and on and on of all the times I yearned in my heart for him to be with us. 

I instead tried to focus on the fun now and look forward to the fun when we get to return with Zaine in tow in the future.  (We may have to take Mimi and Pop Pop as back-up help when we've got three of them at Disney).

Our CONA (consent of non appeal) waiting period was up on Feb. 26 which means we became a family of 5 that day!  Zaine is officially ours in the DRC.  We celebrated at Magic Kingdom with Mickey!  Finishing CONA was a bittersweet feeling in my heart...  don't get me wrong, we were OVERJOYED that Zaine is officially ours and we get the privilege of being his Mommy and Daddy.  But it also means that he was an orphan - circumstances in his life led to the fact that he needed a Mommy and Daddy.  He's been through a lot in his little life - things we cannot comprehend.  We're excited to have him be a part of our family and cannot wait to have him in our arms.

Lots of people have been excited for us thinking we get to travel soon...  oh how I wish that was true.  We have almost finished with everything on the Congo side of things (just waiting on a few papers) so now we begin the process with the USA/immigration side of things.  This is where the gray hair wait comes.  You can be praying that we keep moving at lightning speed but it will most likely be late summer before Zaine is home with us. 

Here are some fun adventures of our trip:

Chef Mickey breakfast

                                    This one makes me laugh - this was Xavier's first time with a character...                                            He actually LOVED them after this one time of crying.

They each got to pick out a stuffed animal at Downtown Disney - of course we had to pick one out for Zaine too.

Mickey was excited to hear about Zaine...  with our Waiting for you sign.

We enjoyed the Harambe part of Animal Kingdom and thought a lot about Zaine here.

Pretty sure he still has sand in his ears!

We celebrated the end of our CONA waiting period for Zaine on Feb. 26 at Magic Kingdom.  Zaine is officially ours!!!

Poor kid fell asleep any old way!

Xavier loved Jasmine's outfit and couldn't keep his hands off her!

Mickey helped us celebrate that we were officially a family of 5!

Several Disney employees saw our sign and insisted that we go to guest services and get "I'm celebrating" buttons to celebrate the occasion.